Stef, one of my best friends, calls me every Monday for our weekly check-in meetings. We discuss our wins and areas for growth as we review the tasks completed in the previous week and design the current week’s schedule.

While these conversations are specifically designed to help us meet our personal goals in the categories of finance, career, health, etc. we always seem to discuss my latest dating disaster or the current quandaries in her relationship.
Most recently, we had to laugh at ourselves as we outlined what a text message response should say to communicate the right amount of emotion without being overly emotional. You know, the kind of thing you did in high school but never pictured yourself doing now as a grown woman. It’s like you thought you would grow out of this game playing phase and be married by now. Maybe have a child or you do have the child, but pictured the father in the picture.


When you step back and look at all you have accomplished for yourself or how content you are, it feels somehow incomplete because you aren’t meeting the age timeline you had set for yourself when you were 15. You know, the one that outlines what age you were going to lose your virginity, graduate college, get married, own a home, kill it in your career, have your first child etc. The blueprint of your life somehow went off track and you are like, “What the hell, this is not how I pictured it!”


And even when we have the amazing career, the loving friendships, and lavish lifestyle, it feels incomplete without that dreamy partner we pictured by our side.

It’s like if you didn’t meet Mr. Right in college you are S.O.L now struggling to comb the endless online profiles of men who are way below your physical attraction range, or just don’t have their stuff together, or worse they are decent but refuse to commit despite the fact that he’s approaching 40! What the hell are you supposed to do when these are your options?

We try to avoid making our conversations about relationships because we feel like it is the one goal we have no control over, but I disagree. I have decided to take a different approach to this dating thing and hope you’ll join me on this journey towards finding the perfect partner. During the next four weeks, I will be releasing a post about relationships and how I am approaching dating in my thirties.

Moving Forward: Let’s be honest about what we want in our relationships and no longer be embarrassed about wanting companionship.  Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married please comment below about what your relationship goals are for 2018.  I look forward to reading your comments.

The One Goal We’re Afraid to Talk About

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