I have a group chat that consists of myself and three cousins. The group was designed to be focused on sharing financial tips as we are all working towards getting out of debt and building wealth. Most recently Cousin 1 shared a link to a 31-day podcast that centered around money. My reaction was “Great! Where do I sign up?” Despite the group being titled “Making Money Moves,”(thanks, Cardi B for the catchy phrase) one cousin quickly responded with “I don’t have time for that right now, I can do it next month. Right now I am working on decluttering and organizing.” Cousin 1 who presented it was like “What’s the point of waiting a month, all you are doing is listening.” While I understood her thinking I was okay with the Cousin 2 waiting if it meant that beginning next month meant she was going to listen and take action. Because what’s the use of getting this great information and doing nothing with it? After about 30 minutes of back and forth, we decided we would begin listening and the action steps would be optional, but I would add them to the chat each day for those that wanted to do more.
For that one cousin who was set on decluttering, I posted organization hacks I was using and shared pictures of my “KonMarified” (totally made that name into a verb) closets that I am super proud of. Cousin 2 loved the hacks and organized space under my sink. She shared a pic of her mess and said she would post an after shot the next day. The next day came and I sent a friendly reminder to motivate her to get the self-appointed task done. My encouraging message was met with “Yeah I know, but I have cramps so I’ll do it later.” All I could say was feel better knowing very well later would come and she would find time to watch several more hours of trash TV, but no time to tackle that drawer. Needless to say, that was several days ago and I have yet to see a picture of what she claimed to be focusing her energy on.
This interaction on the chat reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend about what stops people from taking action. When I asked my friend what has stopped her in the past she said, “With most things we want to accomplish it comes down to either having the time and/or money, but in the end, it’s just an excuse because the time passes and money flows through our hands.” I loved my friend’s response because it was so real and spoke to how we operate. She was even calling herself out on doing this!
The attainment of goals is about how we allocate our precious resources (time, money, energy, etc.) to align with our goals. We love to say we don’t have the time, yet we slept a total of 12 hours on Saturday then spent the time awake watching trashy TV or scrolling through social media apps. We say, “I don’t have the money to go on vacation,” yet we go out every weekend and spend hundreds at the bar, eating out, or adding to our shoe collections.
Because if Cousin 2 was being real with herself, she would realize that her actions are showing what she really cares about…being comfortable with things just as they are.
She would stop complaining about her situation because she is not yet willing to put in the effort to change any of it.
Moving forward, I want you to stop lying to yourself about what you will and won’t do.
One of the biggest reasons people fail to achieve their goals is not because they didn’t have a good plan in place or the right support systems. It starts way before any of that. It fails because they never picked a goal that really spoke to their heart. It didn’t touch them in a way that made them hate their current situation or love the idea of something so much better. They wrote generic goals if they wrote any at all that spoke to what they believe they should be doing because they heard it several times or feel like its what you do at this age or stage of your life. Hence cousin two realizing that getting her home in order should be a priority, but not really making efforts to do anything about it.
You need to be emotionally invested in the goals you set and have a deep desire as to why having them realized would be life-changing for you. Because if you are not invested to this point it is all too easy to blame not doing something on the cramps, the unexpected outing, being tired from work, wanting to take a nap (this is my problem), or any of the other million excuses we give as to why we don’t take action.
In the words of my friend, “You need to stop complaining if you aren’t making an effort to change.” If you aren’t ready to take action please spare my ears and everyone else’s from listening to you complain about your situation and all the things you want to d,o but somehow never seem to get around to. Start taking action now to show yourself and others that you are serious about making a change.
Moving Forward: When have you been guilty of shelling out excuses for not taking action? Has this benefited you in the past? I highly doubt it, friend. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the goal. Just commit to taking one little step forward. Let’s stop talking about it and begin taking action. What is one thing you will do today to move in the right direction?